The topic of marriage has been on my mind seeing how I am - how does one say, unmarried. It is not the smartest decision since I cohabit and have kids. In fact, I do feel like an outsider. I feel like an ol' prostitute popping babies I have no business having because society silently dictates they are bastards and will most likely become beggars who remain in peasantry for the New Age.
I live a normal life under a roof, working and taking care of kids and their father. It seems pretty official I should be Married, with children. The reason - yet again - I choose not to get married is because I do not believe in the institution of it. It is so confining! Though I see how commitment is crucial, I do not think one must take a vow of "'til death do us part."
There was a time when a friend suggested divorce is common and a grand option. As many would concur, Then, what is the point??! In a way, that is my point! That, right there, proves both statements cancels one another - thus, end of story.
The real reason I do not care for the institution of marriage is because it is - yet again - another institution. I have spent so much of my life trying to understand institutions and society. To me, one cannot exist without the other. It is so complex (rather, such a complicated relationship) that whoever said we enter this world as either a slave or prisoner is somewhat correct.
Oh-no! I am complaining again. Waah, waah, waah! Life is so hard! Most of us have to work to make a living under a concrete system which often slants progress with little payback. Waah! To some who only focus on work, money, and fleeing relationships, especially those involving that which can and does perpetuate humanity but without "getting involved" -- sure, most can find sooooooo much time to do as they please. Actually, that is to state, they have a lot of opportunity to climb various ladders and stay afloat ... in buildings. Lets be honest, most can and do take the elevator, live an indoor, comfortable life, and simply use the excuse of travel as their vacation time while claiming to also have glorious (lonely) lives. That is their chance and choice to do as they please. Sure!
As for the 70 percent of us, give or take, who contribute to various industrialized nations and commerce, we are the ones who often have a family, buy the house and cars, and help economies and communities thrive. We are the ones who prolong the world through business, culture, and even the endeavor of humanity, which is simply to experience, grow and live. We contribute (enormously) to lifestyles and development, and are the hardworking families who, in essence, need the legality of the institution of marriage for our family.
Let us think, for a moment, how most children come into industrialized nations - born in a hospital, often go to a childcare facility or preschool at an toddler age; then, enter elementary, middle and high school, and eventually go to college. Afterwards, that same human being gets a job for the next 30 years or so. During this development, many can and do fall in love and will likely get married or cannot wait to do so. He or she will probably have a family or build in other ways. Eventually, that person or persons will strive to reach the institution of retirement. (An "institution" is used here because it is the organization of saving money, which will likely be invested in another institution that borrows and then pays back that money.)
Everything appears to be an institution! I am unsure how and who can stand to exist and breathe in such a way as to be raised mostly by institutions for the majority of one's life. I cannot imagine being indoors almost all of my life because I would not be able to tolerate that. To me, that is probably why so many people who live and work in industrialized nations end up divorced, broke, or angry.
To conclude on the institution of marriage, I find it beautiful that many look forward to having a grand wedding and building a life together -- possibly even having a family. It is actually the essence of life to create and keep a family, or tribe. Sure, it is like performing a magic show on a balance beam - one is constantly showcasing what looks like a well-rehearsed performance while maintaining his or her balance in life. Many know this kind of natural living makes one commit time and dedication, particularly with children. So then, one must prepare him or herself to endure quite a lifestyle; thus, one should get married, be involved, and join institutions - particularly that of the marrying kind.
Though it appears natural to form a relationship and have a family, it also requires work, tradition, and commitment. One should prepare for the grand act of bringing offspring into the world and maintaining relationships. It is, indeed, quite an experience! That is not to state that one is a failure if he or she is either under- or un-prepared. It is simply to state that such a great responsibility requires one to join various kinds of institutions involving society, economics, and personal relationships, and one must be prepared for that, which is why many of us grow up among institutions.
I do not wish to take the fun out of a marriage for anyone because, on the contrary, I believe a ceremony which involves two beings in love should be celebrated since it honors the unifying of two separate families who grow into one. It is a grand occurrence and should be looked at with great wonder because it is beautiful and seemingly ever-lasting. And, even if it is not, it is a wonderful experience, great commitment, and a treasure to be able to be intimate and part of a growing family. Though it also seems natural two lovers would want to stay together as long as possible to raise a child, that is not always the case; still, it is an unique experience for anyone and I am happy to see so many want to continue the tradition of house, marriage, and family. Perhaps the institution of marriage is not so bad!
