Cancer Season and Retrogrades

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It is no surprise some of us may be feeling stuck within our individual self, with five planets retrograde to Earth's point-of-view and Chiron, the Wounded Healer also retrograde in Aries. What does this all mean? Since Saturn, Pluto, Jupiter, Neptune, and Mercury all seem to be going backwards according to our earthly perspective, it is their aspects which are driving many of us into deep thinking, deep feeling, and even going static. Many of us may experience delays, karmic relations, and even unusual solitude - as if some of us need to hideaway from our everyday experiences or worldly views. It is okay to retreat now-and-then as long as we also realize that we are at a stage where we are clearing out past experiences and trying to welcome in new ones.

It is currently Cancer Season and the sign of Cancer is known for being emotional, family-oriented, and deeply attached. Cancer loves the comfort of home and knowing there are those waiting for him or her to return from whatever journey is underway. It is also Eclipse Season, so there is a very karmic knot tied to new beginnings and overdue endings. All of this is occurring while planets are in retrograde and the north node is in the sign of Cancer, while the south node is in Capricorn. Capricorn is hosting Saturn and Pluto retrogrades, and even though Saturn is the ruling planet of Capricorn - meaning it is restrictive, concrete, and responsible, it is also peering over each soul as if some of us must meet certain karmic obligations. Pluto, in the meantime, is playing with our psyche and mind, and perhaps forcing some of us to dig deep into our meaning and purpose.

Jupiter is at home in its own sign of Sagittarius and Neptune, as well, in Pisces. Both are retrograde, which means for Jupiter in Sag., some of us may be actively thinking of searching for new beginnings or something different, and more than usual, while also considering changing parts of our own lifestyle. Neptune retrograde in Pisces may have us in a dreamland we do not want to leave, and to even do so may be quite foggy for a lot of us.

The notorious Mercury Retrograde may be causing electronics to go haywire, traffic to be absurd, and/or communication to be slower than usual, or perhaps that is just the way some of us roll! Sure, many of us can blame Mercury going backwards for some crazy occurrences happening in our individual life, but the truth of the matter is that Mercury is a fast-moving planet, and when it appears to be going backwards from our perspective, it seems to slow down time. So, perhaps many of us are aware that we need to slow down and things are happening before our very eye which is causing us to realize these kinds of moments.

The biggest effect most likely felt right now is Chiron going retrograde in Aries. Chiron is a wounded healer, but also an asteroid, so it is seen as an outcast that cuts deep into our healing soul. In other words, anyone who knows what it is to be hurt perhaps by those we love or had trusted is revisiting certain emotions and wounds which need more time to heal or pass. It is in the sign of Aries, so some of us may be experiencing egotistical defeats since many of us rely on our ego to dictate our self-confidence and worth. Just know that even though Chiron is reopening wounds, it is only to lead many back to their higher self.

Hollow

As much as I have tried to fill my heart with patience, good deeds, and low expectations, I find I still suffer. I suffer from lack of support, lack of warmth, and mostly, a hollow heart. I am trying, though. I am trying to stay happy, hopeful, and fulfilled. Really, I am happy! I love my life; though, there are bumps and rough edges. I admit, I did not have the most stable childhood, and to this day, I am unsure if life choices came from my upbringing or independent spirit. Sure, I had to make it ... all by myself, with little support. In fact, to this day, I have little support from loved ones for whatever reasons besides selfishness, mental health, and perhaps, their own upbringing. For, I come from a small family tree, which is somewhat broken. So many branches and green leaves have fallen off; yet, still, I persist.

It is like falling down. Sometimes, I fall so hard, I cannot get back up - rather, I feel as if I cannot rise, but then I do. I get up and face another day. I face my life - practically alone -  even if I do have a beautiful family in which I also helped to create. In fact, I have a beautiful life! The sun shines down on us, and we are so blessed because we all work so hard; yet, still, I remain lonely.

I cannot help but think I will always be alone. Indeed, I must face each challenge alone, and sometimes, each reward. Really, it appears that life is about achievements and tests; we are constantly being tested on morality and human endeavors. Is it my own doing? Is everything of my own doing? Am I the sole creator of my life, or am I randomly selected to experience various types of activities to which I must adhere? Perhaps there is no such thing as fate. Perhaps there are no higher powers which assist humanity in either rising or falling. After all, that is all hocus-pocus! So, then, what is the exact definition of morality... and to whom? Just because I am a fractional part of humanity does not mean I cannot define things on my own. I am my own person, and still, I continue on.

I do not have a hollow heart. In fact, it is filled with genuine love, compassion, kindness, and gratitude. I am happy. I am grateful. I notice blessings and am thankful for sunshine and security. I have hope, and I try to not allow fear to get the best of me as I fill my head with nonsense - the kind that is constantly reported on TV or social media. Okay, so it may not all be nonsense, but a true portrayal of various activities taking place on Earth in which I mostly have no control. I cannot decide the destiny of humanity, nor can I steer it clear of certain, fateful tragedies; though, I may add a bit of positivity by sharing, caring, or even just smiling.

Perhaps I have a bit of a hollow heart. Perhaps I do not mean everything I say, feel, or think and I fake a smile to just get by since I have no control over everyday occurrences of random societies. So much goes on, it appears smart not to stop, breathe, and relax. Okay, maybe it is actually healthy to take a break and relax a little by not being so stressed and consumed with constant information that continues to pop up hour by hour, day-by-day. There must be more to life than just nonstop news, communication, dutiful responsibilities, and contributions - not to mention family obligations. There must be more to this hollow existence than what appears to be a black hole getting sucked back into itself, and therefore, back toward eternity.

There must be more to this hollow existence.